I got up this morning and went straight to the scale. Yesterday’s weight was 205.6. I was thrilled. I’ve been 207 for months! Here’s the thing. If you choose to weight train, you will learn quickly that muscle weighs more than fat. And if you don’t understand or believe that fact, you will see it in your process.
For me, I think the spiritual part of this journey has a lot to do with taking a deeper look inside.
What’s going on in my heart when I see my husband or friend getting results faster than me? What negative emotions are being stirred up and why? It’s embarrassing to admit, but I found myself feeling frustrated at times. I didn’t have to look too far to discover something I didn’t know was there. Jealousy. And I’ve come to realize that jealousy is a form of fear. Feelings of frustration and jealousy have nothing to do with love. Love cheers people on. Love builds them up. Love encourages. And love drives out fear.
The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it sounds. And that’s pretty much what fear does. It bullies you into believing a stupid lie. Fear of failing or not progressing. Fear of not becoming just as good as someone else. If you ride that wave, you’ll find yourself doing what you’re doing out of competition. I notice that when I focus on myself and do what I’m doing out of love, then I am looking through different lenses. Love will allow me to push competition aside and help me do what I’m doing for myself and not for anyone else around me.
If what we do is founded on competition, then two things can happen. One, we can lose our motivation the minute our competitor quits. And two, we can become focused on what others think about us, and that’s a problem. It’s a problem because if we live by what people think of us, we will live to please others. And if we live to please others, we can at one point or another lie to ourselves or them because we will seek to appear to be someone we are not.
As the pounds are being shed so are some of the behaviors and ways of thinking I feed on. If we feed on love and shed the fear, we can find ourselves shedding the weight of burdens that we placed on ourselves.
The spiritual side of this journey is learning to do what I’m doing out of love for myself now instead of doing something to love myself later. I want to love the person I see in the mirror at 207 just as much as I love the person I see at 157. And, that, my friend, is freedom.